I’ve held you in front of blinking manatees,
Tucked moonlight
Into secret places for you,
And together
We’ve seen some of the lamest
Teen comedies
Hollywood has to offer.
But you failed to see
The magic in that.
Or rather,
Failed to need
Nurturing simple gifts
The way I did.
The past had you
Looking around corners
We hadn’t gotten to yet.
The anxiety building
Like
The gas accidentally left on
In the kitchen.
And my mouth a match,
Where even the word ‘love,’
Caused brutal explosions.
You always found
Things to fill your hands with
In public,
To insist separation.
I don’t know how many shirts of mine
I’ve stopped wearing
Because you loved taking them off,
But it is going on 15 months since
We shared a smoothie,
a couch,
a sunburn,
And it is 15 months into
Never having resolved this time
Together in out lives.
I’d email you to say wassup
And salvage any warmth between us
I could,
But this not-so-often-anymore ache
Is better, at least,
Than feeling lost in a conversation
With someone
I once considered home.